Life Offline

Didja miss me?  I had to go sub-level there for a bit while I buttoned up the final patterns for my new book.  Which, by the way, now has a real live title!  Unless it changes!  Again!  It's called "Fun Fantastical Hats to Knit", which I think pretty much sums it up.  Fun? But of course!  Fantastical?  Um, have we MET?  You're gonna love this one - My inner March Hare got complete creative freedom.  I don't know the official publication date, but I'll keep you posted.  Spring, 2014, we think.

What else?  Well, I'm working on a special project for the Madrona Winter Retreat, which will be available for FREE to you, my Gentle Readers, regardless of whether or not you can make it to the retreat this year.  And there's going to be a knitalong!  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.  Tune in later this week for the big debut.

Bummer: I'm getting a needle poked in my eye again later today. 
Less-Bummer: Good chance this will be the last time. Yay!  Needle-poking is not enjoyable.  But neither is blindness, so, you know.

I'm so excited for autumn to finally be here.  It's been a long summer.  I don't know about you, but I start to twitch if it's too hot to wear a sweater.  Probably my Pacific Northwest upbringing:  I have to keep the moss on my back damp.

What's everybody knitting?  Chime in and let us know!

Degrees of Force Required

Thank you so much, Gentle Readers, for supplying the words I needed but could not find.  Thanks to your efforts, I mentally reenacted my encounter with Coach Dumbass in my mind about fifty times, slaying him with a different zinger each time.  And I did it all while retaining the high ground.  Your pithy comebacks were all I needed to feel vindicated, without actually poking this poor ignorant guy with my rapier-like wit.  Or my knitting needles.  You have saved Lindsay from being known to him as "The Kid with the Horrible Knitting Mother". 

At least for now.

Just Do Your Best to Stay Awake

I know yawning is contagious.  I wonder if rudeness is too?

I spoke to my daughter's new water polo coach over the phone for the first time.  He very kindly advised me about practice times and where to get the right swimsuit, and welcomed Lindsay's participation enthusiastically.  He asked for my e-mail address so he could include us in bulletins about the team. 

MSH:        "Oh, it's Mary at maryscotthuff.com."

Coach:     "Wow!  Got your own website, huh?  That's impressive.  What do you do for a living?" 

MSH:        "I design, teach and write books about knitting". 

Coach:      Dead silence.  Then: "Oh my God I'm yawning just thinking about that." 

Um, sir, did you know you just said that out loud?

Yep.  There are people in this world who think of knitting as so universally maligned that they even expect US to agree that it's boring.

And worse than that, I missed the opportunity to slay him with a zinging response.  Totally choked and mumbled something like "yeah, well..."  Really?  A smartass like me couldn't even muster up "I know you are but what am I?"  Humiliating.

But redemption can still be mine, Gentle Readers: I'm meeting the guy in person this afternoon.  Post all the pithy responses I should have thought of, won't you?