Letter to a Thief

Dear Sir or Madam,

The things you stole from me yesterday are valuable, which you know, or I would still have them.  The suitcase you took is full of things with this web address on them.  On the chance that you have internet access, and that your curiosity compels you to visit here, I would like to beg you for mercy.

We both know how it happened, and so do the police.  What you may not know is that some of those things were my little girl's 12th birthday presents.  And when I went to retrieve them in order to wrap them up in ribbons for her, that was when I understood what you had done to us.

I can forgive you.  Those items, though I worked hard for them, are replaceable.  And I know times are hard, and you're desperate.  You might even have children, too.

But last night I stayed awake all night, thinking about what I would tell you about the suitcase, if I ever had the chance.  I know.  It's full of sweaters.  And mittens. And hats.  And legwarmers.  I bet you've never seen anything like it.

My guess is that you've never heard of someone who makes their living by knitting.  Well, they can, and do, and although we are few in number, we consider ourselves some of the most blessed people in the world.

How I do it is this:  I make up a knitting design out of my own head, and then I knit the garment, the old-fashioned way, with yarn and needles and my hands.  I do it differently every time, a whole bunch of times, and then those items are all photographed and published into a book.  Then other people can buy the book and make sweaters just like mine.  To sell books, I have to take the suitcase of sweaters all over the world, showing them to knitters, and teaching them how to make their own.  That's my job, and it's pretty special.

The sweaters you now have are the most important way I have of earning a living.  They are my artwork, my portfolio, and my resume. They are also uninsurable, because each one is the only one of its kind.

They are so important and irreplaceable that when they had to be sent away for photos, I couldn't bear to trust them to the mail.  Instead, I bought them a plane ticket and flew them to the photo shoot and back.  It took 6 months to knit them all, one at a time.  Those may have been the hardest 6 months of my life, and my family suffered and sacrificed, too, during that time, so that I could succeed.  The sweaters have never been checked into baggage on a plane.  I can't afford to risk losing them.

To tell you the truth, if I thought you might put the sweaters on and keep warm in the cold dark rain, I would be happy for you to keep them all.  But I don't think you will.  I don't think you could possibly know how precious they are to me, or that there can never be another set.  You probably don't even know that they are different from sweaters people can buy in stores.

There are groups of people organized right now, who are planning to come and see me where I travel next, just to see these sweaters.  And unless you can help me out, I will have to tell them that my knitting now belongs to you.

Please, Sir or Madam, if you happen to be wondering what kind of person has a whole suitcase full of unusual-looking knitwear; Know this about me:  I really can forgive you.  I would like to have had the chance to help you, and if you had asked me, I believe I would have.  But you didn't give me that opportunity, and now I have some very big problems that only you can solve.

I really need the sweaters back.  My family needs them back.  There aren't any others I can replace them with, and they are totally useless to you.  I promise if you come to me I won't ask any questions.  I promise if you help me that I will pray for your well-being.  I promise if you show me mercy, that the Universe will repay you in ways you cannot imagine.

Dear dear Sir or Madam, you are a child of God, and as such deserve my love and care.  Not vengeance or hatred.  Only please help me by giving back what I cannot replace.

Sincerely,

Mary Scott Huff
Hand Knitter
 

SongBird

You might not believe this, but it's been suggested (more than once, actually, and sort of loudly) that I should Tweet. 

Before I succumb to such a flight of fancy, I'd like you, Gentle Readers, to weigh in.  See, my fear is that I will become one of those innocuous blatherers of insignificant non-news whom we all loathe and fear (like the members of Congress).  "Buying shoes!" is just not newsworthy to anyone but the person selling me Danskos, no matter what the Twitter people would like us all to believe. 

If I should agree to such madness (lesser ideas have gained me much, such as "why don't you start a blog?" and "you should write a book!"so I'm open to the possibilities), I'd like to know if any of you are interested in hearing from me in the short and sudden format?  The good side is that however unimportant, my missives are guaranteed to be short.  Kindly weigh in, dear friends.  Would you enjoy the odd update, between posts?

Chirp Chirp.

 

Can't Make Me

It happens every time I start to get overloaded with deadlines:  If I'm supposed to be knitting, then all I want to do is spin.  If I'm supposed to be writing, then all I want to do is knit.  If I'm supposed to be taking down the Christmas tree, then all I can think about is weaving.  I know how this works: The minute authority has been established, usually in the form of a time limit, I start to rebel.  Against my own strictures.  Can't help it - just do.

So there are 3 big things to knit on at the moment, and about 10 other small things.  And I'm writing a book.  And there are new classes to create.  And there are designs to pitch for the future, in order to keep having work to do.  About all of which I care deeply.  So deeply, in fact, that I am living in a constant state of near-panic.  But all I really want to think about are looms.

I am not a weaver.  I have drawn a line around my fiber obsession which I dare not cross.  There simply has to be a limit.  Time, Space, and Finance all clearly demarcate the stopping point.  I used to refuse to spin, for the same reasons.  And then some mean mean friend of mine made me pet the fluff, and hold the spindle, and the next thing I know I'm doing 25 rounds with Phillip about how much a spinning wheel doesn't cost.  See, it's a slippery slope.  One minute I'm "just trying" out some crappy garage sale homemade loom my friend is trying to rehabilitate (Me: "What could possibly go wrong?  I know I won't like this because this loom is an inferior tool, with which I know I will not be successful."  Fiber Gods: "Bwwaaah Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaa...."), and the next thing I know I have 27 new bookmarks in my web browser.

I blame my so-called friends.  I was really devoted to minding my own knitting business when Certain People *cough-Lisa-cough* had to go around setting up looms in Certain Other People's *cough-KT-cough* dining rooms, and now here I am: a potentially helpless slave to yet another fiber craft.  I blame these hooligans personally, and I'm warning them:  I know where you people live, and you have to sleep sometime.

Cant Make Me 3.jpg


But I'm bigger than that.  I don't have to succumb, just because looms are so juicy and delicious.  I don't have to buckle, just because weaving is the next natural step in my fiber journey.  I don't have to love that there are so many ways to play with string, and I don't need to know about them all, just because it's my personal quest, and my hard-won profession.  Sure, there are bound to be months moments when I doubt my own resolve.  I just need reminding that there are many good reasons not to cave in.  Herewith; a list of spine-stiffeners I have come up with, for just such emergencies:

10 Reasons Why I Should Not Become A Weaver

10.   Children keep "borrowing" loom savings to trade for "entrees".

9.    Husband insists that hanging a rigid heddle loom from dining room chandelier between uses is not a feasible storage solution.

8.    People who say I will use up all my excess yarn stash are lying.  Everybody knows weavers are the worst string-hoarders in the world.  Ever notice that weaving yarn is sold by the POUND?

7.    Non-Fiber Personnel in my life likely to remind me that scarves are easily obtained from stores.  I've only just broken them of saying that about socks.

6.    Accumulated layers of handmade clothing on my body increase likelihood of being taken for a hobo.

5.    Invitations of "Won't you sit down?" to guests answered by "Where?".

4.    Trunk of car unsatisfactory weaving studio.

3.    Ditto Powder Room, though embarrassingly plausible.

2.    Closing skills loop between spinning, knitting, sewing and weaving further endangers my motivation to leave house.  I'm only 6 or 7 cats away from full-on Wierdy status as it is.

1.    Only remaining fiber skill left to declare off-limits is Macrame.