Six Word Stories Totally Thrilled Me

Before I announce the winner of the six word cast-on and bind-off story contest, I have to tell you a favorite of mine.  That it really is six words is just a coincidence, because it was given to me by a student in one of my classes, and I've never forgotten it:

        "You mean there's more than ONE?"

Remember the moment you discovered there was more than one way to cast on and bind off?  I happened to be there when this lady did, and it tickled me all to bits.  Her six words represent all that is beautiful about what happens when knitters come together to share what they know.  Her knitting would never be the same after that day, and honestly, neither would mine.

Okay, down to business.  To begin with, as always, you all blew my mind.  I laughed, I cried.  It was better than Cats.  Call me crazy, but I just cannot get enough of the stories knitters tell, and these were an absolute smorgasbord.  Thank you Gentle Readers, one and all.

Of course, choosing a winner would be all but impossible for me, so I naturally pawned it off on Phillip.  According to his Husband Contract, Phillip is in charge of all the household chores that are icky, dangerous, or just seem hard.  But even Phillp, bastion of evenhandedness and diplomacy that he is,  couldn't pick just one.  

Lucky for us, I've been saving up extra prizes for just such an emergency, so we can also choose 2nd and 3rd place winners to receive some fun treats, too.  Ready?  Here they are:

        Third Place:  Karen S.
        "400 stitches. Rip. 398, 402, Victory!"

        Second Place:  Melissa 
        "Head hopelessly lodged in vicelike neckline."

        First Place:  Kim D.
        "One knitter, 50 WIPs; What's bind-off?"

Thank you so much, Gentle Readers, for sharing your cast on and bind off stories.  Could the three geniuses above please send me an e-mail with your mailing addresses?

You all are winners to me.

Time For Six More: Let's Go!

Greetings, Gentle Readers!  It's quiet out there. Yeah, too quiet. Must be time for a contest!  The lovely and talented Cap Sease has kindly donated a copy of her OUTSTANDING book as the prize:

As knitting reference books go, this one is about as sexy as it gets.  If you can't find it in here, you probably don't need it.  And remember:  Since you have to swatch anyway, pick a new cast on and bind off to try each time and get smarter without really working hard.

Here's how we'll do it:

Enter the contest by posting a comment of exactly SIX WORDS, which tell your casting on and binding off story.  Happy, sad, funny, thrilling: Let's hear them all!  Next Friday, March 29th, 2013, I'll announce the winner, chosen by Phillip, who has to do all the hard non-knitting jobs.

For inspiration on writing your six-word story, visit HERE.

Love you Gentle Readers, truly do.

One List is Very Like Another

See this and other fabulous comics on Married to the Sea

When you hate to cook as much as I do, going to the grocery store falls somewhere on the enjoyment scale between a face full of acid and bamboo shoots under the fingernails.  But loathe it though I do, food procurement is a necessary part of my glamorous life, at least until I can figure out how to make my children do it.  In order to manage the shopping, I employ various coping mechanisms, such as trying to suck it up and be grateful that I CAN get food, unlike many less fortunate souls on this earth.  Another of my strategies is my personalized "Grocery Store Spreadsheet".

The Grocery Store Spreadsheet (GSS) is the product of years of research, and not a little OCD.  The GSS is a magical device which allows me to spend the absolute minimum of time at the store.  It groups the items on my list based on their physical location in the store (yes, I had to actually map the aisles of my grocery store) so that I can shop as efficiently as possible, minimizing my exposure to mysterious foodstuffs and dumbass fumes.

Each week, I populate the cells of the GSS with whatever items I can no longer avoid getting, then save that version as a reference for what I'm planning to cook.  I frequently panic when I step into the kitchen and forget what I'm supposed to do, so referring to the GSS helps me pull it together, at least for as long as it takes to boil a noodle.

So much a precision instrument is my GSS that I have proclaimed it my Favorite Spreadsheet Ever (Oh, sure; like you don't have a favorite spreadsheet?).  When I need to create a new spreadsheet, I often haul out the GSS and use it as a template for whatever else I might be doing, just because I like the look of it, and I don't have to tinker with it as much as I would a blank document.

Such was the case yesterday, when I sat down to organize the project ideas for my new book.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: I have a new book to write.  Yay!  It's about hats.  Crazy hats, silly hats, cuddly hats, hats you never thought of.  Can't imagine why they wanted ME for such an assignment. 

I cracked open the GSS and started repopulating fields from groceries to hat ideas, and the sorting feature took over, just as it is supposed to do.  Which meant that "Giant Squid" found its way to the Seafood heading.  "Cherry Pie" naturally sought the Bakery area.  And "Sushi", surprising no one, went straight to the Deli.  Something about this collision of two worlds tickled me so much that I kind of fell down a rabbit hole.  I started to test the GSS by dropping other ideas into it.  Turns out that "Petulance" is a vegetable, "Ferocity" belongs to canned goods, and "Ennui" can be found in the pharmacy.

I think I'm going to try categorizing people I know in the GSS next.  I'm willing to bet that at least 3 people I love will be located in my grocers' freezer.