And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor

Good evening viewers.
In response to my desperate plea for backup/fresh horses. My esteemed associate and sometime spouse has gamely agreed (okay, I did have to throttle him) to write a guest post for me.  This is damned neighborly of him, as my whole life careens towards publication deadline.  Proof positive that backup is just another service P. Huff provides. So without further ado, the fascinating insights of my favorite non-knitter, to wit:

As she mentioned, my lovely wife is up to her eyeballs in fiber-related activities and emergencies, so fine readers, you get to hear her dutiful husband’s thoughts today.  Note to others: don’t acquire kittens while writing a knitting book. They cause serious yarn carnage…often.

My infrequent musings will ask questions and look at woolen joy from the Non-Knitters (NKs) perspective.  The idea is to stimulate conversation and further understanding between the thread enthusiasts and the prominent NKs in your life.

I’m a film-buff, always have been, always will be.  My tastes are quite eclectic and varied (insert film genre cliché here) and true viewing passions lean toward the geeky side (classic martial arts, midnight horror films, all things Star Trek and Wars.) One of the proudest moments of my life was watching Mary explain to a mutual friend why Star Trek: First Contact was superior to the final two films in the series.  I swear, I got tears in my eyes.  

This is the first movie I took her to when we started dating.
I had already seen it three times...she went out with me anyway.

With two young children and plenty to do we don’t make it to the theaters as much as we used to.  We see 90% of our films at home, and…watching fast-moving films with an avid knitter could actually drive me to…turn.off.the.tv.  I promise you, no one wants that.

Here’s my problem; film is a visual art.  It relies on images moving at a rapid pace, often if done well, without dialogue.  If a viewer of said film is focused on finishing “at least four more rows” logic dictates they will not be able to actually ‘watch’ the movie they are supposedly interested in seeing. How does my wife resolve this? By asking me every thirty seconds “what happened? What did I miss? Why are they there? Who’s that? Is THAT what they look like” etc. This gets veeeeeery old reeeeeeeeal fast.  I’m annoyed after the opening credits finish, and there’s two hours to go. I’ve made my concessions: marriage is all about the give and take, and I’m capable. I have grown used to watching movies with the lights on, it’s not my preferred method, but I am happy to ruin a little of the cinematic ambiance that darkness provides so the Mrs. can continue her projects.  I watch foreign films on my own on nights when she has gone to bed early.  Knitting and subtitles do NOT mix, and I acknowledge that listening to an unknown tongue for 120 minutes would be highly irritating. I’ve found that romantic comedies aren’t as taxing for either of us, as most of the conflict and resolution is through dialogue, and we all know how most of them end before they start. 

Knitters, I need some suggestions, from you and especially from your NKs.  Today’s question: “How do you get through a film without grabbing one of the knitter’s size ten needles and using it irresponsibly?!”

I’m not one to pose questions without offering at least one solution. Here’s mine: Two “what did I miss because I wasn’t watching” questions per half hour of film.  This keeps the knitter informed, and lets the NK focus on the film’s merits, or lack thereof.

Okay, my first post is almost finished.  Knitters? How do you watch movies with your NKs? Any comments or viewing tips are appreciated.

Thanks,

Phillip

That Whooshing Sound

is the noise made by my first deadline blowing past.  10-15-08 was originally the day that all my samples and patterns were meant to be complete.  Fortunately for me, I gained a few extra days by deciding to deliver my stuff to the publisher, rather than ship it.  The sweaters and I are going for a plane ride!  I am cautiously optimistic that the items for delivery will be in knitted, rather than yarn form, but please don't quote/jinx me. 

Tune in next time for the story of how I made yarn.  You'll laugh, you'll cry; It's better than "CATS".
 

See Notes:

My latest project management/progress tracking mechanism is to put these dumb little notes all over the place.  Each one represents a task I need to accomplish before deadline, and has been placed conspicuously so that I can't ignore it.

Having lost all perspective, I don't know whether this is Organization or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, nor do I care. 

I am really annoyed by the notes, both because they nag me, and because they occupy visual space that I need for other stuff, such as staring into nothingness.  Nothingness is of no use at all when some dumbass puts little notes all over it and turns it into Somethingness.  I predicted that this would be the case, and I was hoping that getting rid of each little note as I completed the task would be a gratifying and tangible landmark.  This was really brilliant thinking, except for one problem:  There are a bunch of things I forgot to make notes for.  So the first, like, 5 things I did after putting up the dumb little notes did not provide tangible gratification, or increase my visual space.  I'm going to stick with them, though, just to see if putting the notes into the little basket I have labeled "Done!" is going to encourage me as much as I thought.  I'll let you know.

Campbell asked me the other day what I was thinking about and I told him that I was a little worried I would run out of time for my project before getting done.  He told me that he thought I would make it, because I would "Purse Of Beer".  I knew that he meant "Persevere", but somehow the visual of a real live purse filled with beer was WAY more motivating.  If my kid believes in me, who am I to argue?  There's not much wrong in the world that a Purse Of Beer wouldn't cure.