Non-Knitting UFOs

All right, clearly my ungainly kitchen exploits have touched a nerve.  Good thing I didn't try cooking in there!  I would like to validate everybody who asked:  

YES.  Any unfinished painting/organizing/decorating project qualifies as a legitimate UFO.  Tired of knitting?  No need to admit it publicly.  Just bust out the spackle and grind on home to the finish.  You will not believe how much that last cabinet hinge/pantry door/wrongly-hung shelf was pissing you off. 

NEWS FLASH:  You Can Get It Done.  Just bust out the spackle knife and haul ass.

Ever have a friend rip back a mistake for you and hand it over at just the point where you loused it up the first time?  Well, I may not be able to find you to do that (this time), but on behalf of all the dumbass projects that have left you unfulfilled, here's my knitterly call to arms: 

YOU CANNOT KNIT ANYTHING PROPERLY IF YOUR TOWEL BAR FELL OFF THE WALL.  It will forever be bugging you, interrupting your knitting time with its insistence that it is a REAL project; a LEGITIMATE use of your time.  And when you get out of the shower, every stinking day, you are being reminded that the towel bar is there to be resolved.  I'm here to tell you that not only can you reclaim your morning shower; you can now explore the vagaries of modular knitting (or whatever) with the certain knowledge that there are no more projects more pressing than the one in your lap.

Take it from me:  There is no satisfaction like the satisfaction of having completed that home-improvement project that you abandoned last summer when it made you mad.  True, that bookcase is no quiviut, but you will not believe the spiritual calm which descends upon you once you vanquish the beast of the crooked soffit.  And if you need a tool to get the job done?  NEWS FLASH:  It's almost Father's Day, and all tools everywhere are on sale now.  Buy the stupid tile saw, or ball-peen hammer, or x-ray vision stud-finder you have been telling yourself that you needed to finish the deed.  Get over it and get on down the road, so you can knit in peace, for pity's sake.

Label the damn spice jars.  Line the stinking lingerie chest drawers.  Change the light fixture in the laundry room.  For crap sakes, it's not hard.  It's not like it's KNITTING, after all!  You only abandoned it because you were too tired to find the solution that time.  Tomorrow, take the electrical tape by the tail and tackle that non-knitting UFO (Not before you've had your coffee, of course.  We're not savages, after all).  

Then send me a picture.  Or a story.  You can do this, by damn.  Remember:  It's not like somebody asked you to make dinner!