In Which I Revert To Type

I stopped knitting for my son Campbell when he was somewhere around the 6th grade. It became clear that not only was he growing faster than I could knit, but that there was no end in sight to his growth spurts. This coincided with a decrease in his interest in wearing handknits, so at the time I called it a win and focused my energies on futile attempts to keep groceries in the house.

Of course I always hoped he would regain an enthusiasm for things his mommy knits, but that was tempered by the knowledge that he comes from a line of big, tall menfolk. Cam is now 22 years old, and 6’5” tall. He asked me in October if there was any possibility of my making him a sweater before the end of this winter. Naturally, I laughed out loud before gently informing him that it was unlikely. And by “unlikely”, I meant “statistically improbable”, within the limits of time, energy and caffeine.

He’s a mostly reasonable sort, (not sure where he gets that from), and said he wasn’t too disappointed/surprised, but that it never hurts to ask. It was sweet. Even though he has watched me knit sweaters for his whole life and knows very well how long it takes, he seemed to hope I might somehow subvert the laws of nature. How adorable, when one’s grown children still think her all-powerful.

A little before Christmas I couldn’t stand the guilt anymore, and honored a long-standing family tradition: The Delayed Gratification Gift:

I gave him a big ol’ box of yarn. 4,185 yards of it, to be exact. Like I said, we grow them big at my house. Since the request is for a cabled Aran, and I’m planning an attempt to dye it to order, I decided not to play around, yardage-wise. A person close to me who shall remain nameless (not Campbell) and can do math informed me that that amount of yarn is over two miles. Mathelete.

At 465 yards each, these are just huge skeins. Since I needed to re-wind them into hanks for dyeing, I decided that I would divide them into halves in order to better manage the extreme yardage. Thanks, Start-itis!

It was fun making friends with this yarn, which for some reason I have never worked with before. I chose it solely based on the criteria that A. I could physically attain it in time for Christmas, and B. I could afford what amounts to a motorcycle-cozy’s-worth of it. Right off the skein, it seemed a bit flaccid, even possibly underspun. That could just be due to handling/stretching in its production, though. Since I’m going to dye it first, I have high hopes that it will recover some bounce. Interestingly, it also contains a fair bit of kemp, and even some vegetable matter. Both are easily removed though, and are probably part of what make this yarn so affordable. Additionally, as advertised, it does retain a fair bit of lanolin, too, which may dissipate when it’s washed, allowing it to bloom. Oh, yarn! You are so full of mysteries…

Here are the re-skeined hanks, eagerly awaiting a relaxing pre-soak, followed by a hot dye bath makeover.

It’s hard to believe that a world of color is going to come out of this little beige box! Since the yarn contains a fair bit of grease (and other possible substances unknown), I’m trying Synthrapol for its presoak. Also shown is Campbell’s dye color of choice. Care to guess what delicious shade he has requested, Gentle Readers? Submit your best guess in the comments by 01.15.24 and I’ll send the winner a prize!